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Getting a little more personal now…

Can we dim the lights a little?  Thank you.

Bekah and I have been married for…(pause while I do math)…13 years now; dating for…(another pause) 16.  We’ve been through a lot in that time.  For the most part, though, I’d say we have a very happy marriage.  Let’s be honest, every couple has their ups and downs.  Thankfully, we’ve mostly had ups.  I mean there are things about me that drive her absolutely insane and there are things about her that do the same to me.  For the sake of enjoying my king-sized bed and having a lumpy couch, I’ll not itemize those things here.

Anyway, about 5 or 6 months ago, Bekah and I instigated Date Night.  Full disclosure:  it was her idea.  I got chastised the other day for saying

Date Night is the best idea we’ve had in a long time.

The correct statement should’ve been

Date Night is the best idea you’ve had in a long time.

I’ll not make that mistake again.

But I digress.

The concept is simple:  we set aside one night every week that is ours.  It’s not always easy to do with her working retail and me professing theatre, but we actually take the time to put Date Night in our calendars.  Since the budget is tight, we don’t feel like we have to go out to a fancy dinner (or even a take-out/drive-thru dinner).  We cook either for or with each other, eat in peace after the kids are in bed, and then spend some quality time focusing on each other.

I won’t go into all the details of what Date Night involves.  I’m sure most of you are adults and can use your imagination. Plus, going into more detail would put me in danger of sleeping on the patio or worse. However, I will tell you that, even when we don’t or can’t get a babysitter, we still have Date Night.  We just wait until we’ve put the kids to bed and then we have our time together.  We usually turn the ringers off on the phones.  We are very selfish with that time.  Nothing supercedes Date Night. We usually try to keep it the same night every week, but sometimes that just can’t happen.  We don’t let a week go by without having at least one night that is totally ours.

The best part about Date Night is…okay the second best thing about Date Night is that regardless of anything else, we know that there is one night that we can have to be Real People; not Parents, Teachers, or Co-Workers.

And you know what?  It’s really improved our marriage.  Not that our marriage was perfect, but there’s always room for improvement, right?  It’s drawn us closer together; allowed us to get to know one another all over again; remember the cute little things that made us crazy for the other one while we were dating; and, yes, even learn a few new things about each other.

What’s the secret?  There isn’t one.

Other than taking the time and making it absolutely sacred.  Rarely do we have any kind of plan for the evening.  We usually fly by the seat of our pants and make it up as we go.  Every now and then one of us will get a wild idea and try to surprise the other one with something, but neither of us feels like we have to do that.  There is no pressure whatsoever.

Okay.  I’ve got to go.  Tonight is Date Night and I’ve got to go finishing getting ready.  Don’t bother calling tonight.  We won’t answer the phone.