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No, it’s not what you think.

Those of you who know me well know that I’m a gadget freak. Almost to a fault (but, then again, who’s really going to admit to an excess of anything, right?). So, for Christmas, my present was a GPS unit for the truck. I picked out the Garmin c340, because it is a GPS. I know there are fancier models out there, but really, who needs their GPS unit to show pictures and play mp3s on that tiny crappy speaker? The price was right and I went for it.

Skip ahead to this morning. I found out that the 2009 Map Upgrade was available and I was going to pick it up since we are leaving for out trip on Sunday. I figured, why not have the most current map on the thing since we are about to take our first “road trip” in several years? So, I got online to Garmin’s website to see about ordering it. I went through the process and attempted to place the order and I got a response that told me that my order had not been processed. So, I gave up and decided to find if there was a store in town that had it on DVD and I would just install it that way. It turns out BestBuy had it, so I scurried over there and picked it up.

Then I get home to find out that Garmin Internation has charged my debit card for the amount of the upgrade 15 TIMES!! You read it correctly, my friends. Fifteen friggin’ times they charged my card and I only clicked the submit button once. Total charges equalling over $1,000. So, I got back online to find out what the hell was going on. I logged in to my account on their website and clicked on the link to track my current orders expecting to see 15 orders. The account showed no recent purchase activity on my account.

I called the bank first, to tell them of the error and to hold those charges. They told me there was something about the charges and they would have to wait to be posted to my account and then I would have to get the merchant to reimburse me. Oh, hell no.

I called Garmin. The droid that answered the phone was helpful, but was not very nice about it. If you know me well enough to know that I’m a gadget freak, you also know that I’m very patient – especially with customer service types. I paid my dues by being one of those people all the way through grad school. So, all I did was tell the same story you just read to the lady on the phone very plainly so there would be no confusion. I didn’t condescend to her, lose my temper or make any derogetory remarks of any kind. After telling me to treat her like a human being (oh yeah), she informed me that since there was no order number attached to those charges they would simply disappear from my bank account within 24-48 hours. I asked her what assurance I had that would happen. She replied, “It’s just the way our system works.” I told her that wasn’t good enough and she told me to call my bank if I had any more issues. I informed her that I had already been in touch with my bank and that they told me to call them. I further explained that if those funds cleared my account and the money was actually withdrawn that I would begin the process with the bank to have them labelled as fraudulent and her company could take it up with the FTC. She asked me if there was anything else she could do for me and I laughed – I never do that. Through my laugh I said no and she thanked me for calling and told me to have a nice day.

I called the bank back and informed them of the situation. Bottom line: the charges are incorrect and they must not be allowed to be withdrawn from my account. Period. The young man I spoke with, Braulio, was most helpful. He looked into the issue and verified what the droid at Garmin had said: more than likely the charges would disappear overnight and everything would be okay. No funds withdrawn; no potential for an overdrawn account. I explained that more than likely was not good enough. I asked him to make a note on my account that this was a merchant error and that I should not be charged any overdraft fees in the unlikely event of a further problem. He agreed and asked me to hold for a second. (By this point, I had been on the phone for over an hour, most of the time spent listening to hold music. The longest hold times were Garmin’s, not the bank’s.) When he picked up again, he told me to contact Garmin again and ask them to contact the bank with a magic six digit merchant authorization number and tell them to ask the bank to remove the charges. I thanked him and told him I would do that.

Let me be clear. At no time did I ask for, nor did I expect, Garmin to refund the money to my account. I understood that no transaction had actually occurred yet. I was simply asking them to make sure that no transaction took place at all.

So, I had to wait on hold again with Garmin (minimum hold time with them was 28 minutes) and another droid picked up again. I explained my problem again and she put me on hold to talk to her supervisor. When she came back, she informed me that she would have to get some detailed information from me and forward it on their accounting department. We did that.

Finally, everything was taken care of to my satisfaction, but not without a lot of gnashing of teeth in this household. I’m writing this to pass along this message to the world: Garmin makes some of the best navigation systems in the world. I own two of them. However, they haven’t figured out the world of online commerce yet. DO NOT purchase any Garmin equipment via their website. It is crap. You can log in to access free updates to software and “window shop,” but don’t give them a credit card number via their website. Go to a brick-and-mortar place and buy it there.